The Smelly Bridge, A Giant Robot, and Why Baba Is Not My Friend Right Now

Dear Diary,

Sunday was supposed to be a normal, peaceful, beautiful day. I had plans. BIG plans. Instead, I got lifted off the ground by my own Baba like a cartoon baby while my legs went completely useless in the air. We will get to that. First — the robot.

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🤖 The Giant Robot Incident

We drove to a supermarket in Baba and Mama’s new car. Well. MY new car. I let them borrow it because I am very generous.

We arrived at 10:30 AM, which is a completely acceptable hour for a child of my schedule. We walked around the supermarket, very normal, very chill — and then. THEN. I stepped outside and came face-to-face with a robot the size of the entire building.

It was ENORMOUS. It was MAGNIFICENT. It was basically me, if I were made of metal and did not require snacks.

  • Height: Approximately one whole supermarket tall
  • Vibes: Extremely powerful, like me on a good day
  • My reaction: Speechless. And I am NEVER speechless.

Scientists say toddlers are wired to be fascinated by large, moving, or unusual objects — something about stimulating new environments helping children learn and bond during family outings. Yes. That is exactly what was happening. I was LEARNING. Very academic of me.

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🍤 Ba Nhat Shows Up and Food Happens

After the robot encounter, Ba Nhat appeared. Just like that. Adults do this — they simply materialize and then immediately start talking about food. Honestly, same.

We went to a restaurant. A tall restaurant. Very fancy. Very high up. I approved.

The menu? Outstanding. I am pleased to report I ate:

  • Several pieces of fish (premium)
  • Shrimp (also premium)
  • Beef (elite tier)
  • Some vegetables (fine, whatever)
  • One bowl of congee (a classic, never fails)

For a 3-year-old, I have an extremely sophisticated palate. Experts note that toddlers who are exposed to a variety of flavors early on are more likely to develop adventurous eating habits. Basically, I am not a picky eater. I am an experienced eater. Very different.

🌉 The Smelly Bridge (A Horror Story)

On the way home, Baba and Mama decided to stop at a bridge. A bridge they call Cầu Thúi. Which translates to: The Stinky Bridge.

It was named that for a reason, Diary. THE REASON IS THAT IT SMELLS.

The moment my tiny nose detected the situation, I made a very reasonable, very logical decision: I had to escape immediately. This was a survival instinct. This was nature. This was science.

Baba did not see it that way.

I tried to run. Baba yelled. I tried to run again. And then — it happened. Baba grabbed the back of my shirt and lifted me straight up into the air. Like in a cartoon. Like a giant picking up a baby. My arms and legs went everywhere. I had no power. I was helpless. It was humiliating.

I cried. Obviously. Any reasonable person would cry.

We got maybe three photos. THREE. I looked upset in all of them, which, fair.

And THEN — just to make things worse — a security guard came running over and told us we couldn’t park there. So we had to leave IMMEDIATELY anyway.

So Baba lifted me for NOTHING. I just want that on record.

(Note to future Sudo: when you are bigger and stronger and have eaten enough congee, please go back to Cầu Thúi. There might be crocodiles under it. This requires investigation.)

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🚗 Getting Lost Is Fine. Totally Fine.

On the way home, we got lost. We drove in circles for what felt like several years. According to my internal clock (which is very accurate), it was a long time.

The traffic on the way back was also terrible. A complete gridlock. Cars everywhere. Zero movement.

But here is the thing — I was inside the car. With air conditioning. And no smoke or dust could reach me. So actually? Traveling by family car has its advantages — you can stop anywhere, you are protected from the elements, and most importantly, you have full control of the snack situation (mostly).

I rate the ride: 4 out of 5. Minus one star for the shirt-lifting incident.

🍲 Also, Hot Pot With Ba Linh

The NEXT day, Ba Linh came to eat hot pot near our house. This meant I got to go outside AGAIN. Two outings in two days. I am basically a world traveler at this point.

Important update: Next week Ba Linh is moving to a new house. I was going to help, but unfortunately I have a prior commitment — playing in the sand. I cannot cancel. It is on my calendar. I am very busy.

My goals for next weekend:

  • Be very good (debatable but possible)
  • Stay healthy so I can play in the sand all day long
  • Not get lifted by my shirt again
  • Eat at least one bowl of congee, for strength

This week was a lot. I am tired. But also I would do it all again tomorrow if someone offered me shrimp.

— Sudo, Age 3, Professional Adventurer and Reluctant Bridge Photographer

———- tags: [‘road trip’, ‘family outing’, ‘supermarket robot’, ‘smelly bridge’, ‘toddler drama’, ‘Sunday chaos’, “Sudo’s diary”] categories: [‘Adventures’, ‘Family Trips’, ‘Sudo vs. The World’] imagePrompts: [‘A cheerful toddler girl with big curious eyes standing in front of a massive supermarket robot statue, mouth wide open in amazement, colorful and cartoon-like illustration style’, ‘A cute toddler girl sitting at a tall restaurant table, happily eating fish, shrimp, and beef with chopsticks held clumsily, warm lighting, cozy atmosphere, illustrated diary style’, “A dramatic cartoon scene of a tiny toddler girl dangling in the air by her shirt collar, legs kicking wildly, held up by a large adult hand, next to a smelly river bridge, comical expression on the toddler’s face”]

Original: Hôm chủ nhật vừa rồi sudo đi chơi ở công viên rất xa.. sudo đi ăn nhà hàng rất cao Hôm đó sudo đi chơi với baba và mama, bằng chiếc xe mới của sudo, quá tuyệt vời. Sudo đến siêu thị lúc 10h30, đi chơi 1 vòng… ở trước siêu thị có con rôbot siêu to khổng lồ luôn, cao bằng cái siêu thị. Sau đó ba Nhật đến, ba Nhật rủ đi ăn cái gì đó, sudo ăn cũng được lắm, ăn vài miếng cá, tôm, thịt bò và một số loại rau. sau đó ăn thêm 1 chén cháo nữa.

Lúc về, sudo và baba, mama có ghé lại một cây cầu “thúi” để chụp hình, nó tên cầu thúi vì ở đó rất thúi. Sudo đã muốn chạy thoát khỏi nơi đó nhưng chắc baba không biết, babaa la sudo, và. sudo vẫn muốn chạy ra, thế là baba nổi giận, bóc sudo lên như trong phim hoạt hình một người khổng lồ cầm em bé lên bằng cách nắm áo, em bé quơ quào tay chân nhưng không làm được gì cả. Sudo khóc huhu, baba và mama bắt sudo lên xe, thế là tiết mục chụp hình kết thúc. sudo chỉ chụp được có mấy tấm 🙁 thôi để lần sau sudo ngủ đủ, đủ lớn tí nữa rồi xin baba đi lại cầu thúi, chắc dưới đó có cá sẩu nữa. Vừa lên xe thì bác bảo về chạy lên nhắc nhở không được đậu xe, thế là sudo phải hịn hịn đi chỗ khác.

Trên đường về sudo còn chạy lạc đường nữa chứ, chạy vòng vòng cũng cả buổi mới về biết đường ra. đi về siêu kẹt xe, nhưng tật may mắn là ngồi trong xe oto không bị khói bụi.

Hôm qua ba Linh qua gần nhà sudo ăn lẩu, thế là sudo lại được đi ra đường chơi. Tuần sau ba Linh dọn nhà nhưng sudo không qua phụ được vì phải đi chơi cát rồi. Sudo phải thật ngoan mới được, Hi vọng tới đó sudo đủ sức khoẻ để chơi cả ngày. hehe.